Bonafide Badass

Girly guns.
If you ever ran into me on the street, you would look at me and probably think I'm a little on the short side. Maybe even petite. And after talking with me a while, you might even say to yourself "she's a sweet girl." Let me just put this out there right now... I hate that. When I was in high school people always called me cute. They said I was sweet and cute. Now, I'm not knocking sweet and cute, but when you've been sweet and cute for as long as I have, at some point you just want to be badass. Just to mess everyone up. You know? They look at you and see sweet and cute and totally don't expect badass. I know badass isn't feminine, but it's way more fun! And when I say badass, I mean a force to be reckoned with if the occasion arises. I'm not going to see you on the street, start bitch slapping you and then go all ninja. That would be a bit socially awkward for both of us. I'm just saying, its nice to have a little badass in me so people can say "Hey, don't be deceived by sweet and cute over there. That chick is a total badass."

My Barefoot Badass Tee
So I don't know how people perceive me nowadays or what kind of first impressions I leave on complete strangers, but my deep-seeded desire to be a bit fierce is finally coming true. Well, sort of. No, I didn't earn a black belt in karate or give my neighbor a beatdown for destroying my bushes. Really, I haven't done much to earn a well deserved badass reputation...yet. The only thing I have to show for my fierceness is a couple of guns. Very feminine, girly guns. But noteworthy and badass all the same. I'm pretty proud of this muscle. I've worked hard for it.

And I wouldn't even have this muscle if it weren't for my workovers. To say they have been difficult would be an understatement. But this is good. I mentioned a few posts back that I found a professional to help me with my strength training and running. The guy who I contacted is the same dude who helped me re-learn to run a few years back by introducing me to the Pose Method. Well, I had no idea what he was teaching me at the time was Pose, I just knew that it allowed me to run much further and longer without pain. So, once again, Seth Kotelnicki is helping me get my body all sorted. He constructs these specialized workouts for me on a monthly basis and I try to follow them with precision. Before even beginning my plan, though, he met with me to assess my fitness, form, and goals. Not only did he write a customized program for me (including mobility work, run workouts, and strength and conditioning) but he gave me information on other key components of fitness like sleep and nutrition. (You can read more about my Paleo Diet trial here) The cool thing about Seth is that he isn't pushy or righteous with the information he gives. He presents it in a professional manner and leaves it up to me to make a final judgement. He would have been totally cool if I hadn't even tried Paleo. And he totally respected my diet fails when I needed a serious cocktail...errrr... or two... while on the 30 day Paleo Diet trial. Not only that, but he's been really patient with all my stupid questions.

My ERG workover.
My workovers started out with exercises where I only used the weight of my own body. Push-ups, squats, lunges, bear crawls, ab circuits... Don't be fooled, though. On paper they looked like a cakewalk. In reality... um... HELL. NO. I didn't believe Seth when he said that these workouts will be different than any other I've tried and that it will bring new meaning to the word "cardio." I just laughed when he told me that he promised not to kill me, but I would come close. Ha! Getting myself psyched up for one of his workouts is like getting ready to breastfeed a barracuda. You just know its going to be punishment. (Hmmm. Perhaps the perfect fit for me.) But I'm proud of myself for getting this far. Even with all my medical interruptions, paleo brain fails, miscalculations and just plain stupidity (I've managed to flub a few workovers because my math skills were sorely lacking or I forgot how to do the exercise correctly) I feel like I'm making progress. For instance, I think I'm more flexible than I've ever been in my entire life. Which, as my husband will tell you, is BONUS! Well, that is as long as I'm not left crippled from one of Seth's workovers for the next three days. Hee hee. And I learned that I can deadlift 125lbs!!! Ok. For me... that's pretty badass! Most of all my knee hasn't bitched at me once since I've started this whole program. And my heel although still tender from time to time (I think it might be Plantar Fascitis) is much better than it was three or four months ago.

So I plan to continue my workover punishments because even though its been tough (and often times embarrassing), the end result and how I feel overall has been nothing less than impressive. The true test of it all will be at my triathalon in July. Who knows? By then, maybe I'll have really earned a bonafide badass reputation.
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  1. Zap, I wanna be like you! :) Well, actually it sounds like we are a lot alike already. I don't have the guns you do (and I doubt I could deadlift 125#, but I'm working on it), but I definitely have your attitude. Do not eff with me, I will eff you up. :) Glad your workouts are paying off.

    And, I don't think there's anything wrong with being cute AND badass!

  2. @hmduey - Welcome to the sweet and cute Badass club!! Good to see you here!

  3. Tough chicks are hot. What kind of tri are you planning in July?

  4. ^ Agreed. There's a reason us men always salivate over Angelina Jole.

    And daaaayum girl, nice guns haha.

  5. Those guns are serious! And your workout looks like it would make me cry. I'm excited to hear all about your triathlon. And I'm so glad the knee is better!

  6. Glad you are liking the Crossfit. I actually look forward to getting my ass kicked by a "workover". Maybe because I know all the good it's doing for me. Plus, since you keep track of your totals every workout is a competition. Keep up the good work!

  7. @DB - I'm doing The Eppies Great Race. Its a small, local, non-swim triathalon. 8 mi run, 12 mile bike, 6 mile kayak. I did it last year. I plan on doing it all in my VFFs this year.

  8. You are one cute but tough lady. What a killer combination.
    High five on Paleo diet!

  9. Nice guns! I work with Seth on occassion and am so thrilled he is doing what he loves to do AND creating results for people and making them happy.

    Nice guns girl.

    I look forward to Seth helping me get back into shape after baby #2 arrives!

  10. Trailmomma - Great to see you here! Checked out your blog and left a comment. Looks like we both have husbands who MTB @ Prarie City. Maybe we'll see you out there this season!


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