Chillin with a view I'm a slacker. I'm sitting right now on the top floor balcony - still in my jammies. Its early in the morning. The sun is barely up and my California body clock is about the only thing NOT slacking. There's a fresh cup of coffee next to my laptop and I'm watching the mist sink and lift in the valleys of the terraced mountain range in front of me. I'm waiting for the rainbow to appear. Aloha! I'm in Maui, baby! There's something about island life that pulls me back and winds me down. Reggae music always pops into my head whenever I think about Hawaii. Life is just slower and much more relaxed here. This is a much needed family vacation. Actually it was a Christmas gift given to us by my parents. Its been wonderful to spend quality time with the kids and just chill and watch them enjoy life. I ran barefoot on the beach the beach today. It wasn't much... maybe a little over a mile. Other than that I haven't done jack exc...

Evofem's Disposable Softcups Squeeze box. Taco. Poontang. Sugar Basin. Honey Pot. Vertical Bacon Sandwich. Whisker Biscuit. Crotch Waffle. Velcro Love Triangle. Sausage Wallet. Apple Pie. Salami Garage. Pound Cake. Now that we got that out of the way... is anyone else hungry? I swear some of these euphemisms for vagina make me crave food. Is that wrong? Guys, you might want to get the hell out of dodge for this post cuz I'm going to be talking about my vagina. A LOT. And its not going to be in the "oh my pink pearl is so pretty" kind of way. No. This post is more of a "my axe gash is bleeding like a stuck pig" today. Yeah. Consider yourself warned. Its going to be another one of "those" posts, and since its a review of a very useful feminine product I'm not sure you'd wanna stick around for that anyway. But, if you decide to stay and read (for your "wife" or "girlfriend") you have my deepest respect for braving...

Random.org chose the winner for my latest giveaway and #4 Steven Shomo is it!! Dude just won a Zaps Threads original tee!     Steven, get in contact with me and I will totally hook you up. Let me know what size/design you want and where you want it shipped. Congrats!! Once again... thank you to everyone who liked Zap's Threads on Facebook and tweeted, posted, pinned, and blogged about my giveaway. The more love and support you give Zaps Threads and my art the more giveaways I can do. You guys totally rock! ~Your forever incompetent Zap . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 

Thank you to everybody who entered my Zaps Threads Free Tee Giveaway!!! Unfortunately, I'm not accepting any more submissions. I know. BOO. But stay tuned because I will be using Random.org to pick a winner tomorrow so be sure to check back... . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

You wanna free shirt? Today is the day!   I've been saving up every penny of every commission earned from every sale of every shirt so that I can give one away for free!! Yeah. Its a long and arduous process, but it is finally happening today! For this giveaway the winner can have any shirt in my Zaps Threads shop limited to a $28 value. Today I'm revealing some new designs - the concepts of which transpired over a facebook thread. I don't exactly remember the context of the conversation, but I was just making shit up as usual and giving my online friends all nicknames. That conversation then inspired me to write this post on my secret love for Roller Derby. So three months later I finally have some wearable badass designs. These are by far some of my favorites! They're gritty, dirty, bold and irreverent. In fact, if you win one - or end up buying one - I encourage you to cut the sleeves off, tear the neck out or mark it up and make it your own. These de...

I've been on the fence lately. But before I get into that I just want to thank you, dear readers, for even spending one minute on my blog. Whether you're reading, ogling the naked pics, commenting or doing whatever you do when you're here, you are seriously appreciated. Really. THaNk YoU!!!  I guess I was in denial people actually read my blog. Apparently you do and according to my stats you are spending more than just a few brief seconds. We're talking a whole eight minutes per pageview on average. Wow. Either you're really slow readers or I'm just that interesting. Or (and this is more likely) those pages have naked people on them. But regardless of why you spend more than a nanosecond here, that just makes me feel so thankful, because really, I never expected people would care about my barefoot trail running fiyah!, my nerdy thoughts on women and strength, or even my way-too-honest confessions about my uncoordinated mobility and "flexibility...