Summer Antics

Seriously. He can abduct me any time...
Jeez, Krista, you haven't written in your blog for over three weeks. Have you...

a. Been held captive by a tribe of chimps wearing pants and carrying sharp sticks?

b. Been abducted by aliens disguised as Brad Pit and Matt Damon? (I don't give a shit if they're from another planet if they look like Brad Pitt or Matt Damon I will succumb to their every sample.)

c. Are you on the floor of your gym and can't get up? 

d. All of the above 

If this were an S.A.T. question test professionals would suggest that if you aren't sure of the answer then your best choice is C. So lets go with that. 

Its C then. Although, I think I'll fantasize about B for a while...

Anyway... I've been pretty wrapped up in my training lately (as well as other fun stuff). I don't post my workovers anymore because frankly I forget what I do every day at my gym... hey... that's what happens when I deprive my brain of oxygen for more than five minutes. Every once in a while I'll take a picture of my day's punishment on the board like this:

Yeah. As soon as I saw the board that day I have to say I was a little disappointed. All I saw were the first three movements - the progressive deadlifts totally didn't register in my head - and I turned to Seth and flippantly responded "That's it?"
Sumo deadlifts at The Ranch Athletics

I think I saw a flash of evil pass over his face. Then Seth says "Yup. That's it."

I had never done a progressive deadlift before so I had no clue.

Just for the record I will NEVER again look at the board and say "Is that it?" They are preparing me for the ultra of my life and the dial has been torqued to the "its gonna hurt" zone.

I started at 3 reps in one minute with something like 95lbs on the bar. It seemed easy enough. Kinda like the first couple miles of an ultra. Then things got harder all over but also my hands and I could actually feel the blisters on the grips of my palms thin out, then stretch, and finally tear. Ow.

My record!
As it turns out I ended up lifting something like 23,750 lbs in 20 minutes. Frankly, I had no idea if that was a lot (someone has probably already beat my record) but it felt like a ton. Apparently, it was way more than that. Ha!

It was hard to lift after my hands were destroyed, but I guess if it doesn't hurt then I am not properly simulating hundo circumstances. Although,  I'm not sure how I'd end up with torn blisters on the grips of my hands during a hundo unless I was completely inept at carrying my handhelds (which for me isn't a stretch). It is, however, perfectly possible my knees could in fact look like this at some point during a hundred...
Yeah. That was two days after I had done 100 ab rollouts on astro-turf and forgot to put some sort of cushioning between my knees and the floor. I can tell you that the pain from astro-turf knee burn is not nearly as painful while you're doing it as it is trying to bend your knees two days later. 

Or rolling over in bed.

Or accidentally jabbing it again with the corner of a small whiteboard. 

See that fresh round hole on the right one? Yeah. That's a fresh jab. I'm sure the word "fuck" was launched shortly thereafter along with wimpering and more swearing. I'm such a pussy.

But hey. At least I got to finish my rollouts unlike the kettlebell snatches which Rick fired me from just before I was about to smash my head in. Yeah. That would be REALLY bad.

But even still with all my questionable coordination in the gym you'll be happy to know I haven't hit my head with a jumprope yet since I've been training at The Ranch. Sadly, my coaches were looking forward to seeing that spectacle in person. I still have yet to deliver.

So it seems after pushing prowlers, pulling sleds, and following the torture guidance of some pretty awesome coaches I've gotten stronger.

Apparently I found my happy place.
I'm almost there.

At this point I feel like I'm about 70% there. Physically, I'm stronger than I was six months ago but its the mental stuff I struggle with. Usually the physical barrier comes first then it knocks down my confidence. If I can build myself up physically, I'm better off mentally. Confidence has always been a struggle with me. Too often I associate it with pride. I always feel that the moment I admit I'm good at something I will instantly be humbled by it. Athletic karma is a bitch and I've always paid her a high price. 

So outside my training I'm trying to relax, enjoy, and get some perspective on things. I recently went for a ride with my husband during our annual trip to Napa for a client dinner which was super fun - well at least after a brief near-death moment in which I came nearly inches of being wiped off the road by a semi. Its nice to take a break from the craziness of kids and work and get some quality peace time in.

Got the road ALL to myself

Client hosted dinner at the winery

But no vacation is complete without licking something...

or chickens with knives...

and no summer can ever be complete without kayaking or henna...

My Mehndi Dragon
Belly art
Drawing on friends
So if you're wondering why I haven't been writing, now you know. Summer fun = less blogging. But don't worry, I haven't left the blogsphere - or at least they haven't kicked me out yet. I'm hoping that in the weeks to come I will be back to writing about more running antics. Luckily I've managed to squeeze in a run here and there lately to test my achilles which is still giving me angst but who knows what kind of bloggable (or non-bloggable) fun might happen during summer vacation. Stay tuned...
Run out near Foresthill Bridge
Running with my FTR peeps/Dirty Girls


  1. Awesome!! I want your coaches!!Will they fly to Mn?

  2. That's a lot of fun and a lot of torture! wowsers.

  3. Awesome, Krista! Great write-up and happy summer! I imagine those busted knees were worth it!

  4. You just make me laugh so much! Eye candy, sweat, body art, cursing, good food and friends...I think you covered all the bases. Wait...was there booze involved somewhere? Happy summer!

    1. LOL! There most certainly was booze involved - much to the chagrin of my coaches. How do you think the sign got licked? Ha!


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