Getting Ready for The Ranch

Chocolate covered women. Need I say more?
So it seems my cooking compulsion is over. I think the Netflix marathon of "Freaky Eaters" is what killed it, but it's left me with this urge to dunk my naked body in a pool of cornstarch and water. Is that wrong? Seriously. That's one thing I need to do before I die. But if I can't do that maybe I would settle for chocolate. Yeah. I think I could do that.

So I was able to get a lunch run in with my old trail running group last week which is now my new trail running group because I think I'm now completely BACK! And with extra fiyah to boot! I'm running faster, and stronger now and can totally keep up. I use to be a back of the packer, but I'm edging my way to the front now. It sure feels good to run with people again.

And pretty soon I will be training in a gym with people too. Ok. So I train in a gym with people now, but I don't know most of the people there and I generally don't talk to them - unless they're rocking some cool socks - and I certainly don't compete with those people - unless you count the dude who got on the other rower at the same time I did and said to me "Wanna race?"

I was like, "Dude. I'm only doing a warmup and I've got a hefty workover to do after this."

But what I really wanted to say was "Dude. Careful there. You don't REALLY want me to kick your ass with my warmup, do you?"

That might sound arrogant (which is amazing that I've gotten to this point considering all the doubts in my head all my life), but I seriously didn't want to crush the dude's masculinity or embarrass him. What the fuck was that about?? Now I think back to that moment and think to myself... hell yeah I should have taken that boy on and kicked his ass!! Yeah. At the very least it would have been a good challenge. He looked pretty fit... like he could kick MY ass.

But I didn't take the bait.

That's OK. I have plenty of opportunity ahead of me. My coach is getting really close to opening his gym and to be honest I'm a little nervous. Super excited, but nervous. My training won't be in a vacuum anymore. I will be competing with others and will probably be competing with guys who are younger, bigger and more fit than me. Don't get me wrong. This is all good, because it will make me work that much harder and force me to push my limits which I will admit, I sometimes don't do when I'm on my own.

For instance, I did 10 rounds of a 500 meter row, 5 pullups and a 30 second plank the other day and when I was done I was thinking to myself... I could have pushed myself harder. Damn.

This is what I SHOULD have looked like post workover. Minus those shorts.

So I will be doing all my training at The Ranch REALLY soon. Probably with things like sleds, chains, tires and Gods know what other kind of sadistic torture devices I will be subjected to. But the one good thing about The Ranch is that their focus is to train their athletes to SAFELY do each movement and if there's any risk of injury they will probably either ask me to back off or substitute the movement completely until I can perform it with good form. They will even be offering a Fundamentals Program (Fitness Bootcamp) which will prepare people for the other Strength and Endurance programs (or just get their asses into shape if that's their goal). I have a feeling I will probably need a fundamentals class for stuff jumping rope. No kidding. I still can't jumprope without hurting myself. [SIDE NOTE: I really need to do a video of my ineptness. I think it could rival the running chick video in my last post.] 

I'm also looking forward to doing some of their "flow" work (which is kinda like yoga and supposedly a lot of fun) and from what I understand it will be integrated into their warmups and cooldowns and help with mobility and flexibility.

The Ranch Athletics Tees
So I'm helping them prepare for their opening and getting their logo (designed by me) onto shirts that they will be giving away soon, probably as part of their opening celebrations.

So the countdown begins...

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  1. I'm sorry, I tried to read this twice and my attention keeps getting lost after the chocolate covered women part...


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