Posts

Showing posts from 2018

Pulling Back the Curtain

Image
I've been spending the last couple years trimming the frayed edges. I've had to mend a few holes and there's still parts of this beautiful tapestry that is me, that are thin, worn out, and barely there. I'm working on mending that. I've been doing so much work on this that it depletes me sometimes. I've embraced meditation, visualization, and internal work even more than I ever have and have seen parts of me that frankly have surprised and scared me. There's a shit ton of layers I've discovered, pulled back, and examined every little thread of. There's also a shit ton of layers that still sit in a fog below all of that, barely reachable, edges illuminated just enough so I know they are there, and then, just like that, they vaporize. Who knows if those will ever rise above the fog again.

It's a strange thing to be back in the pool of dating. Especially now. With all the years that have gone by. I'm not even quite sure I'm ready for this …

Uncovering my past and healing my shit

Image
Is this mic on? Can you hear me?

It may have been nearly a year since the last time I posted in this blog, but that doesn't mean I haven't stopped writing. Oh HELL NO. In fact, despite my eagerness to get back to writing in this little space of the webosphere, I have been making a point to indulge in the real deal daily - pen and paper, which consequently, I'm extremely particular about. So much so that I will not even ATTEMPT to write unless I have my beloved Precise V5 Extra Fine Point Rolling Ballpoint pen in hand. This one has a peek-a-boo window that looks into the cartridge, (which reminds me of my calligraphy days), where I can see just how much ink I have left. I keep one pen saving my place in each journal I write in. I sorta have multiple love affairs simultaneously happening although, I think my pens are jealous of my keyboard. My keyboard sees way more action, especially at work.

So these multiple love affairs with pen and ink and journals are very much my sac…