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Showing posts from 2014

Wha? You Found Me With That? And another Top 10 List...

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I like to look at my online traffic stats from time to time. It's nerdy entertainment and since I'm like 95% weinerdog it satisfies my inner geek. I want to know where you people are and how you got here on my blog. I'm nosy like that. 

But it's not like I wanna know exactly where you live in a creepy, stalky kinda way - ok, maybe a little bit - but I promise all my stalking will be limited to Google. I won't actually get in my car, drive to your house, knock on your door, and offer you candy. Unless you've got whiskey, then I might invite myself in for a drink.

So, on occasion, I look at the search terms and phrases used to find my blog and most of the time I just end up shaking my head.

You people are tweaked.
Like when I see the search term Dead people. Wha? Really? Uh. I really don't know what to say. You found my blog with that?
Then there's the phrase Wedgie Archive. Yeah. I'm not even sure where to find this archive of wedgies. Was this the 2011 p…

Finding Chocolate in My Pants - A Body Butter Inspiration

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So the other day I was changing to get ready to go to the gym and as I was climbing out of my jeans and panties (I like to take both off in one full swoop for efficiency) I found a large chunk of chocolate smeared on my inner right thigh. Real chocolate. Not the metaphorical kind. Trust me. A lot of things go through your mind when you encounter smeared ANYTHING in your pants. But being an ultra runner, (and if you've ever been out on a LONG run without toilet amenities you'll know what I'm talking about here) I was confident in my ability to handle the situation.


Suddenly a whole Question and Answer series scrolled in my head.
Question in my head: Whaaaaa?...
(Honestly, I was confused and having trouble comprehending the whole situation.) Answer in my head: Dear God, that better be chocolate. (After a little inspection, thankfully it was.)
Q: I don't remember eating chocolate recently. (I realize this isn't a question, but it was in my head.) A: That looks tasty. (Appar…

Krista's Top Ten List of What Not To Wear While Running

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I'm pretty sure I broke a running fashion rule the other week. It's probably the first rule of running fashion. 

Running Fashion Rule #1.Never run with your ass cheeks hanging out of your shorts.

Yeah. Shorter than short shorts are a big NO NO. Well for running anyway. They're perfect for pole dancing and for women fifteen years younger than me.

In my defense though, it was one of those weeks where I was hard-pressed to find time for even my 25 minute hill repeats, which meant that I had to let the laundry suffer. And when the laundry suffers I find myself desperately digging through my clothes drawers to find something, ANYTHING, that is remotely acceptable to wear. I was lucky I wasn't going into the gym or that could have been tragically uncomfortable - instead I was running hills and trails in a somewhat isolated area where only a handful of people in a three year time period unwittingly witnessed my brave attempts at peeing-while-standing-up so I figured the odds wer…

Giveaway Winner #2!

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Emir! Dude!The universe thinks you need a new shirt, man! You were picked to receive a Zaps Threads original tee. Contact me now at zapmamak@gmail.comso I can get your info and send you a free shirt. Feel free to peruse the selection of awesome shirt designs on my site so you can let me know what exactly you want.








For the rest of you... thank you for entering my giveaway. I'm done with slacking lately, so expect more giveaways in the near future. And if you're a NorCal local or even a Born To Run amigo, stop by and see me at my booth at upcoming events. I'll keep you posted on those. Trust me. It'll be worth it. *wink*
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Free Tee Giveaway - Are you ready?

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Wanna free shirt? Sure you do. Honestly, I've subjected you to enough of my flim flam these days you deserve a little something for free and it's seriously been FOREVER since my last Zaps Threads giveaway.

I just finished putting three of my latest Zaps Threads designs up on my Spreadshirt site - The Stupid Miles, the Ultra Warrior, and the Ultra Runner tee designs. If you want one of these, or any one of my myriads of other designs you see here you will have to enter this giveaway... NOW. Seriously, folks, those Stupid Miles tees have been stupidly popular and I would hate for you to miss out on getting one for free.


So if you haven't had a chance to buy a shirt from me in person at one of the events I vended at this year - and trust me, that once-in-a-lifetime awesome experience is much better than the online one, usually involving a free shot, free beer, a special cookie or just my charming personality which you should take full advantage of should you ever find yourself …

Why Ultra Running is Just Like Sex...

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Yeah. I'll bet you wanna know. I've been pondering lately on the similarities between ultra running and sex (Surprise! I'm back!) and with the help of a few friends and some informal brainstorming (which may or may not have included alcohol) I've summed it up here. Not a very meaningful post, but who needs meaningful when you've got entertaining, right?

WHY ULTRA RUNNING IS JUST LIKE SEX
1. Duh. You have to like getting dirty. I mean REAL dirty.
2. If you start out too hard and too fast you're likely to blow your wad too quickly.
3. Sometimes you do it ALL NIGHT LONG.
4. Calf and foot cramps happen at the most inopportune times.
5. Sometimes it makes your ass hurt...
6. ...and your nipples bleed.
7. There's spandex involved.
8. Form is important.
9. It's often more fun in a group.
10. It's OK to take a break and eat a sandwich.
11. After you're done, you want a beer, a cigarette, a shower, and a nap (not necessarily in that order.)
12. Endurance makes all th…

Is it Time To Throw a Party in Your Temple?

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Summer is settling down now. Routine is resuming. I'm getting back to semi consistent training (although my gym schedule will be shuffling again soon) and finally, my mostly paleo diet is getting back on track. I launched myself off the wagon for a bit. You don't know this yet, but if you happen to run into me on the street, I will convince you that there is something nutritiously redeeming about corn-dogs and milkshakes... and lots and lots of chocolate chips. Oh. And beer and bagels. I could go on, but it would be embarrassing.

But we can't all be perfect all the time, can we?

And we shouldn't.

Sometimes you just gotta let go and have some fun. Your body may be a temple, but I recommend throwing a kick-ass party in there from time to time. In fact, temples are the BEST places to throw a kick-ass party - the acoustics are awesome. But, be sure to clean up the mess afterward, wipe the glitter off your body, and kick out any lingering party guests, cuz eventually you'l…

Pine To Palm 100 - From a Crew's Pespective and My Epiphany of Flow State

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I'm back from The Pine To Palm 100 after crewing and supporting my friend and fellow Ranch athlete, Monica Moore - who, by the way, completed that bitch of a course in sub 30 hours. So proud of her!! It was strange to revisit that course from a crew's view. I got to see a bit of that course again where it intersected the runners as I had to pass a few on my way up to the crew points. I was unexpectedly surprised by the climbs - climbs in which, as a runner who ran that course last year, I have little recollection of. But, the realization hit me... as a runner who has 100 miles ahead of her, I don't think about the climbing, or about mile 90 or mile 100 for that matter, my only focus is the next step with my right foot or my left. It's probably why I can't remember much of that part of the course and now I realize it's the only way I can cope with the distance. And in that way, running the super long distances is an exercise in being present in the moment. It wa…

The Summer of Volunteering

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I spent a lot of time in my bikini this Summer. Mostly chilling on the lake, absorbing rays on the river, or acting like wildlife. Yeah. Cuz I do that. If I wasn't chilling in the water or by the water I was volunteering my time at races. In July I got a chance to see what the Downieville Classic Mountain Bike Race was all about. Taking place in in Downieville, CA, this race is known for its party atmosphere and hardcore downhill racing. Mountain Bikers from all over the world come to California to ride this race - and although the format of the racing has changed a bit from year's past this race still seems as popular as ever.

And if you've ever experienced a small mountain town atmosphere you'll understand the lure and magic of Downieville. An unforgettable experience - especially for my kids who got to experience freedom on a whole new level. My oldest even volunteered for the race helping out in the bike shop, spraying water on the riders at the top of the mountain,…

Sorry for the Temporary Silence... I've Been Running and Living Life!

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Sorry to be such a boring blogger lately, but life (and running) has truly gotten away from me lately. I've had so many adventures, met so many people, been to some stellar places, and have been living life in the fast lane (well... the carpool lane mostly since 17 hours of driving just sucks.) I've been meaning to post about my latest achievement at the Speedgoat 50k and how my training just rocked... but I've been traveling, camping, volunteering, pacing and crewing since I completed that mother of a race in July. Facebook has been my surrogate blog lately, and although it doesn't really give me a space to properly reflect on some of the amazing experiences I've had, it does allow me to do some much needed purging of photos from my phone and jot down a few notes.

So with that, you should already know I FINISHED SPEEDGOAT 50k - The hardest 50k in the U.S!! I completed that fucker in 12:04:53 and although it wasn't an easy race by any means I finished happy, str…

Wild Running in Desolation, Speedgoat Training

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It seems I'm on a roll with this slacking thing lately. It's not just my ass. My blogging hobby has taken a backseat to my Speedgoat training and summer antics and although it may appear as if I haven't been writing, I actually have a whole 'nother post almost three quarters done waiting to be finished. But, I'm not even sure I have the guts to complete it. It's the kind of post that has me scared shitless to publish and I can't quite figure out why I have this need to write about something so personal. Its a little ironic since I'm perfectly comfortable writing about camel toe, running orgasms, my own ineptness at masturbation, and fitness/sex toys, but this post is different and a little more serious. I can't seem to bring this one to the surface and lighten it up. Its just heavy. Very heavy. And I've been struggling with it.

So I'm putting it on the backburner for now.

In the meantime, it was nice to get a break from the depths of my writin…