Getting My Shit Back Together
|Box squats at The Ranch Athletics |
Photo courtesy Seth Kotelnicki
That was super cool.
I'll think of it as my dad's gift to his grandsons this holiday season.
I miss him terribly, but am coping.
Just having my outlet at The Ranch Athletics has been huge. My strength is slowly coming back from a heavy place. I've felt so weak for the past four weeks. I wasn't sleeping well, my eating was crap and every time I worked out it felt like a complete fail. Everything was crushing, tough, and exhausting.
But, the last four days I've slept pretty well and I've gotten back on track with my eating post Thanksgiving. I'm starting to feel a new normal.
My last workout felt like my strongest one in weeks - heavy deadlifts, tabata squats, prowler sprints with wall sits, and tabata push-ups. It took about ten minutes for the burning in my quads to simmer down - a real sign that my body is coming back and I'm able to push a little more.
And I loved the prowler pushes we did last Wednesday night. It was kinda hard to do them without exorcising my demons. A great way to get my aggression out...
I've felt a little lost lately, not just because of losing my dad, but from the lack of goals in my life right now. I've been in survival mode for the past four weeks just trying to hold together our family, help my mom out, host Thanksgiving dinner, maintain normal for my boys - oh - and get my car fixed.
|My sad van.|
It was a big fucking test of life's emergency broadcast system.
I got that signal loud and clear. Thanks life. Can we go back to our regular scheduled programming now?
Yeah. I need that. And a little motivation right now. Not sure where things are headed for me in the coming months.
I was eyeing this race - The Tahoe 200 - but at $850 for registration I can't even fathom signing up. Its definitely a rich man's race and I certainly am not a bottomless pit of money right now, so... something like that is going to have to wait until I win the lottery. I'd rather spend my money on something like the Copper Canyons which I also can't afford until life allows me to save a little more. But, a runner can dream, right?
At any rate, I want my future races to be adventures anyway, which apparently aren't cheap if I want any semblance of aid or support.
Which is why I will still be signing up for Born To Run Ultra Marathon again this year. A race near and dear to my heart, and if Luis lets me, a place to hang with some cool folks and vend my Zaps Threads shirts. If you visit my shop online, you'll see some shirts I've been designing for fellow runners for various races, but I intend to do a few more of my own designs here soon and have them printed for the upcoming Born To Run Ultra. I'd appreciate feedback if you have any on what types of designs or shirts you'd like to see. I got a lot of requests for more women's tanks last year so I will probably do a run of those this year. I'm feeling inspired again by my stupid running endeavors so I will probably be doing a stupid running series or something like that.
We'll see. Life is a little muddled right now. I need some time to organize my thoughts and get my shit together. I'll keep ya'll posted on that.
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