Ten Ways To Annoy Me At The Gym
|Yeah. This is my gym. Enough said.|
I know I'm not one to talk. Hell, I've had my fair share of being the annoying person (dude who I almost kicked in the head doing pullups would probably agree), but I think we can all share the burden here. So if you really want to piss me off in the gym here are a few guidelines. WARNING: Petty post and rant ahead.
- Make snarky comments about my minimal shoes. Even better, make sure you tell me that Vans are inappropriate for weightlifting when you've never lifted more than a five pound pink dumbell in your life.
- Take four sets of dumbells and hoard them for a thirty minute circuit workout. Even better, tell everyone you'll be done with them in about five minutes.
- Sit your ass down on the rower and text your best friend. Better yet, text your best friend who's using the elliptical thirty feet away from you. Be sure to move like you're actually rowing but very weakly and with your legs only.
- Be very fragrant. Better yet, spray yourself down with your Moringa Body Mist while on your gym mat so everyone after you gets to smell your delicious B.O./perfume combo now embedded in the mat.
- Wear rhinestones and sequins on your ass so I have to look at it. Even better, make sure they spell out the word "Juicy."
- Creep and stare at me in the mirror while I'm doing back squats. Better yet, get out your iphone and pretend to be checking your music while taking a picture of my sweaty ass. Then laugh with your frat brothers about it.
- Try and start up a casual conversation while I'm in the middle of doing 500 jumping jacks. Even better, say something like "You're crazy. No one needs to do 500." Um. I do so get the hell out of my face.
- Use the plyometric boxes as your own personal storage bench while doing situps. Better yet, sit on the box in your juicy sequined yoga pants and chat with your girlfriends while you're waiting for Zumba.
- Don't ask whether I'm using that 30 inch box for box jumps after I've just carried it halfway across the gym. Just move it wherever you want and start jumping.
- Pick the TRX rings right next to me to do your aussie pullups when there's a whole roomful of rings to choose from. Even better, creepily check out your wicked biceps while you're doing your pullups right next to me. Yeah. That's impressive.
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